KING’S LANDING — The economy of Westeros has begun to falter following the ascendancy of King “Ronald” Raegon Targaryen, First of His Name, according to frustrated civilians.
“Coin does not flow so freely with this so called Raegonomics,” said Lord of the Tides Aemon Velaryon of Driftmark. “I don’t say that just because I was next for the throne had Raegon not taken it by force! No, between Raegon and his wicked Hand, George H.W. Arryn, everything is pretty much falling apart. What a mummer’s farce!”
King Raegon is similarly unpopular with the smallfolk of King’s Landing.
“The Gold Cloaks show up and arrest anyone they want. With King Raegon’s War of the Five Drugs, they can just plant milk of the poppy on you and drag you off to the dungeons,” explained blacksmith Rolland Waters. “I mean he’s no Maegor the Cruel, but neither was King Richard the Crook and that guy sucked shit.”
In addition to criticisms of King Raegon’s performance, many in his inner circle whisper that he is not as mentally fit as one might think.
“King Raegon may appear cruel, but it is not he who rules Westeros…” confided Raegon’s Master of Whispers. “In fact it is Queen Nancy who is the true head of the dragon.”
At press time, King Raegon came under fire for insisting that greyscale is just something that happens to gay people.
