LOS ANGELES — Comedian Dave Chappelle is in critical condition at a local hospital after hitting his knee so hard following a joke about his pronouns that his entire leg shattered, according to those familiar with the situation.
“Mr. Chappelle was on stage at a comedy club at the time, several hours into his set and likely exhausted when the incident occurred. Unfortunately, due to the fact that everyone’s phones had to be locked away in little pouches, we have no video evidence of the impact,” said the hospital’s chief surgeon, Dr. Eugene Salazar. “I’ve warned David many times in the past that he needs to stop harping on trans issues. It’s absolutely terrible for his health, not to mention his career.”
“Even when they wheeled him into the hospital, drenched in his blood, his left leg completely missing from the thigh down, he took the medical forms from our nurses, and under ‘pronouns,’ he wrote ‘fuck/you,’” Dr. Salazar added. “I mean, come on, man. At some point, you gotta drop the act!”
CEO of Netflix Ted Sarandos sent his best wishes to Chappelle.
“Everyone here at Netflix is so sorry to hear about what happened to Dave. Hopefully he has a speedy recovery and is available to film his next three Netflix specials coming out in 2024,” Sarandos said in a statement. “Few people outside of Ricky Gervais know this, but comedy is one of the most dangerous professions known to man. Sometimes you tell a joke that’s so funny, but no one seems to realize. That’s when you have to hit your knee with the microphone so that people know even you can’t take how good the joke was.”
“I wasn’t there when Dave tragically hit his knee so hard his leg exploded, but I imagine it was a really damn good joke and no one laughed at it,” Sarandos explained. “In that sense, it’s the audience’s fault this happened. I hope he sues.”
At press time, Chappelle’s fans were reportedly harassing the microphone company Shure due to the fact that it dared to attack their favorite comedian.
COMMENTS.
3 responses to “Dave Chappelle Hospitalized After Hitting Knee Too Hard in Joke About His Pronouns Being “Fuck/You””
Why does no one ever care about how I feel? I too was horribly injured as a result of this tragic incident. Is it because I am not person, but a sentient mic? Do my feelings not matter, because the entertainment industry only cares for the Hollywood Elites (humans)? I have sacrificed so much to get to this point in my career, and yet still don’t get the respect I deserve. I’m sick of being treated like merely a tool. This is not why I got into showbiz.
Gender is a social construct, why are people worshipping it like it exists?
Yknow that worship is also a social construct? And like…. Video game production? And money? Like… MOST things are social constructs.