LOS ANGELES — The Oscars are making an attempt tonight to appeal to new, younger viewers by replacing the red carpet with one that has a big town on it.
“We’re so sick of everyone saying that the Oscars are just for old farts who like boring movies that aren’t cool. That’s why we’re starting to try to grab younger viewers — not Gen Z, Gen Alpha,” explained a representative from the Oscars. “This year, we have the carpet with the town on it. Next year, we’re going to give Best Picture to ‘Paw Patrol,’ no questions asked.”
Despite the attempt, reviews from young attendees were mixed.
“Ooohhaahhy das blue,” said Henry, who is “this many.” Henry held up one, then two, then one, then four fingers. “I wanna I wanna I wanna I wanna go to…… playgwound. I wanna go playgwound with mommy.”
Adults at the event reportedly also found the experience frustrating.
“I went up to this kid on the red carpet — or whatever it’s called now — and asked him his four favorite films, but he completely froze up. Then he started crying, and I swear to god, I think he shit himself,” said an interviewer from Letterboxd. “But I guess that’s what I get for trying to interview Jimmy Fallon.”
The Academy also announced plans to replace all chandeliers with dangling keys.
