WARWICK, U.K. —In The Great British Sieges Show’s thrilling finale, Prue Leith laid claim to Warwick Castle after a nine month (and twelve episode) siege.
“I think this is a bit of a triumph,” Leith said as she raised the GBSS banner above the battlement.
After cutting off the castle’s supply lines, Leith set up her tents outside longbow distance and roasted chickens each and every night for nearly 300 days, teaching the viewer about proper rotisserie and using the wafting scent to torture the keep’s defenders. Many fans attribute the victory to the events of Episode 8, where she slew Sir Vaynstar of Gloucestershire with her infamous flail, Death Chain.
“She was a blur on the field,” prisoner Henry Smith said, shackled to the wall in the dungeons. “Sir Vaynstar was undefeated until that night. We attacked under cover of darkness, hoping to gain the upper hand, but her strategic awareness is as legendary as her physical prowess.” Leith allowed the attackers to enter camp, which had been evacuated mere hours before, then descended upon them with a cavalry pincer movement. Prue also serves as a judge alongside Paul Hollywood on The Great British Bake Off.
“To conquer is to destroy hope,” said Leith as she removed her bloody pauldrons and handed them to one of her squires. “It was necessary for me to personally eliminate Vaynstar. There could be no alternative. And for me, that’s perfect.”
The Great British Sieges Show has been renewed for twelve more seasons.
COMMENTS.
One response to “Prue Leith Seizes Warwick Castle in Season Finale of “The Great British Sieges Show””
[don’t publish this comment, it’s ooc, I just had to reply]
The absolute whiplash of “Prue also serves…” is SO good. I hate it when journalists don’t understand how to make something cohesive and so they just mash in facts wherever they can make them vaguely fit. Great satire, phil 💯