Phil Jamesson
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Idiot Thinks People Will Still Care About Fallout When He Has Time to Watch It Next Week
NEBRASKA — Paul Treadwell, who is busy right now, feels no rush to watch the debut…
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Eclipse Canceled After Piccolo Fucking Explodes the Moon
EARTH — Monday’s total solar eclipse was canceled today due to Piccolo blowing up the moon.…
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Man Fooled by Obvious Satirical Article “Honestly Wouldn’t Be Surprised” if The Minions Won Gubernatorial Primary
MINNESOTA — After being teased for posting “This country has gone to seed,” with a link…
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Bill Maher Forced to Use PTO Waiting for Applause
LOS ANGELES — During the latest episode of “Real Time with Bill Maher,” Maher was forced…
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Letterboxd Outage Forces Users to Decide for Themselves If Movie Good
UNITED STATES — Due to a three-hour outage today, cinephiles who typically use Letterboxd to determine…
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John Hinckley Jr. Says People Getting a Little Weird About Sydney Sweeney
OKLAHOMA — John Hinckley, who spent decades in prison after attempting to kill President Ronald Reagan…
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Bradley Cooper Criticized for Wanting to Receive Acting’s Highest Honor Too Much
HOLLYWOOD — According to many fans closely following The Oscars, Bradley Cooper is too transparent about…
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Cillian Murphy Admits His Name Actually Doug in Hard-Hitting Red Carpet Interview
HOLLYWOOD — Years of deception were uncovered by journalist Julianne Hough during The Oscars® Red Carpet…
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Nation’s Dads Eagerly Await Oscars “Long Runtime” Jokes
UNITED STATES — Fathers across the United States gathered around their television in excitement and anticipation,…