Montclair Film, CC BY 2.0, via Wikimedia Commons
LOS ANGELES — Martin Scorsese, the king of slick crime films, surprised fans this morning by announcing his next project, “Peel Me An Orange.”
“My granddaughter introduced me to the concept,” Scorsese said. “It’s something a girl will ask her guy. It’s a test. It looks innocent enough: a small task. But so much depends on it. What do we have, in the orange peeling test? Hidden information. Dramatic irony. Real stakes. I realized it’s not so unlike an encounter with a mob boss. And it just grabbed me.”
Scorsese is famously open to some level of improvisation as a director, but keeping one party in the dark is a new frontier for him.
“It’ll come down to what our actors do at the moment we say ‘Action!’ The big choice, really, is the fella’s. Will he peel the orange, a simple favor for his beloved? Will he lash out, revealing deep and untenable fissures in the relationship? Or is it possible he will find a third option more endearing – or more damning – than we possibly expected? I may just find another entry in my filmography about the steep price of performative masculinity. Plus, I’m part of the Tiktok Creativity Program, and I think this is going to really juice my numbers.”
We were able to visit the set, which is actually the shared apartment of the co-leads, on the first day of the three-month shoot.
“Kelly told me Martin Scorsese wants to film us hanging out and watching ‘Batman: The Animated Series,’” said Brad Wilkins. “I have no idea why. Maybe this is an opportunity to end up playing a crime guy in one of his movies? I always loved ‘Goodfellas.’”
Upon being asked to peel the orange, Wilkins proceeded to do a long, meandering monologue about how he was going to use a razor blade to do so, because he plans on being in jail later.
“I guess he passed,” Kelly Donaldson said. “But I don’t know if I like this voice he’s doing.” Potential spoilers: Act 2 of the movie is entitled “The Ick.”
The film will be Scorsese’s first vertical film, with a runtime of 160-200 Tiktoks.
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One response to “Scorsese Announces New Tiktok-Inspired Film “Peel Me An Orange””
Friggin cinema 🙌