Film
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Robert De Niro to Play Donald Trump’s Assassin in Upcoming Documentary
LOS ANGELES — Actor Robert De Niro, known for his frequent vitriolic statements about President Donald…
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Jigsaw’s Girlfriend Digs for Engagement Ring Embedded in Chest of Chained-Up Friend
JERSEY CITY, N.J. — Veronica Swanson, dental hygienist and girlfriend of the notorious serial killer known…
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David Zaslav Chains George Miller to Front of Mercedes Following Dismal “Furiosa” Box Office Results
THE WASTELAND — Warner Bros. Discovery CEO David Zaslav has reportedly chained director George Miller to…
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“Doing Prequels Is Pointless — You Already Know What’s Going To Happen,” Says Man Who Will One Day Die
NEW YORK — Nathaniel Barron, who is currently in lockstep with every other person on Earth…
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New Law Requires British Filmmakers to Pass Test Before Making Movie About American Politics
WASHINGTON — The United States Congress passed a law today forbidding British filmmakers from making movies…
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“Poor Things” Wins Make-Up Award for Team Behind Shrinking Willem Dafoe’s Penis to Normal Size
HOLLYWOOD — The team who worked on making Willem Dafoe’s gargantuan penis look normal in the…
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Cillian Murphy Can’t Help But Imagine Oscars Audience Disintegrating During Acceptance Speech
LOS ANGELES — Accepting his award for “Best Actor” at the 96th Academy Awards, Cillian Murphy…
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Denis Villeneuve Frantically Rewriting “Dune 3” Script After Reading Tweet That Paul Is Actually Bad
MONTREAL — “Dune” director Denis Villeneuve is reportedly doing a page-one rewrite of his upcoming film…
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David Zaslav Buys the Rights to Rooster Teeth’s “Lazer Team” Just to Delete It
LOS ANGELES — Warner Bros. CEO David Zaslav has purchased the rights to the Rooster Teeth…
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Jacob Elordi to Play Feyd-Rautha in New Sofia Coppola Movie
NEW YORK — Jacob Elordi has been cast as Feyd-Rautha Harkonnen in a new Sofia Coppola…