LOS ANGELES — In a surprise at the Primetime Emmys this evening, Danny Devito was brought on stage to accept the Best Actor award, just, you know, overall.
“I’m a bit confused,” Devito said in his speech as the auditorium gave him a standing ovation. He began his next sentence: “I wasn’t nominated for—” before being drowned out by raucous applause and the sounds of hundreds of champagne bottles popping.
At this point, Devito tried to modestly hand the trophy back to the presenters: Meryl Streep, Denzel Washington, and President Barack Obama, but each of them traded him an even larger trophy in return.
“But what’s it for?” he earnestly asked as additional presenters closed in with larger and larger trophies. “What do you mean, in general?”
“‘You’re the best, Danny!” yelled His Holiness the 14th Dalai Lama, motioning to two trophy presenters cloaked in shadow. Devito was able to narrowly escape the stage.
Despite repeatedly asking for clarification, no one at the Emmy Awards explained to Devito why he had won the award, except that he is the “best.”
At press time, actor Matthew Macfayden was called up for Best Supporting Actor in a Drama Series, but was immediately played off before uttering a single word so that Danny Devito could win an even larger trophy, this time for “Coolest Guy.”
COMMENTS.
2 responses to “Danny Devito Wins Best Actor, Just, Like, In General”
heartwarming 🥲 glad to see an underrated actor finally getting the recognition he deserves
Yea, yea Ive got a comment for ya’. You got a problem with The Penguin? Look, it may not have been the most popular Batman movie, or the best Batman movie, but dammit, it was the hot hot 1990s, and they were not sure how to CGI up a good depiction of the most horrifying villain in the history of canonical Bat-lore with their primitive Intel Celeron processors of the time. As the story has it, one of the writers gasped, slammed his hands down on the writer’s table, and screams “DeVito!”. So after a night of patting each other on the back and nodding their heads, a call was made, and soon they were filming the new Batman movie, with Danny boy as the Penguin. He’s had some meaningless role’s since that movie, but it’s irrelevant. Among the true Bataholics of the world, we will Forever… see Danny good ol’ Boy as a cute little Penguin-man living in Batworld, and not a soul on earth could earn more respect from us Bat guys, that one would get from that. So how dare you, write a satire article about the best Penguin portrayal in a batmovie. Dannys a saint, keep his name out of ya mouth ya filthy animal! Sincerely, [email protected] #endBatShamingNow