HAWAII — After receiving nearly two hundred subjects for their Love is Blind experiment, alchemists Nick and Vanessa Lachey continue to demand more.
“The Great Work must continue,” Vanessa Lachey said at her Hawaii home. “People keep asking me why I would commit to another season — it’s the Philosopher’s Stone for me.”
The Lacheys are rumored to have risen to alchemical power and prominence by dissolving the heads of the Goat, the Scales, and the Phoenix houses, the three most powerful American alchemy organizations, in alkahest, the universal solvent. Nick Lachey was also a performer in the boyband 98 Degrees.
“We just want to find out if love truly is blind,” Vanessa said. “If so, even a few drops of blood from a freshly-wedded subject can serve as a powerful catalyst to remove a foe’s sight – and, critically, their second sight. In Season 7 of ‘Love is Blind,’ things are going to get steamy, and also, we will finally claim our places as the rightful overlords of consciousness.”
Nick Lachey stressed that they do it not for themselves, but for humanity.
“You pitiful creatures know naught of the vastness of our power,” Lachey said, holding the trophy he won in Season 5 of “The Masked Singer.” “I operate within your laws, yes. But not for long. No, none shall contain Nick Lachey.”
“Love is Blind” Season 7 will be filmed on location in the sixth ring of Hell.
