NEW YORK — Peacock, NBCUniversal’s streaming service company, has announced a brand new tier of streaming service which can only access episodes of “The Office.”
“We’ve been listening to our customers, and what they really want is to pay a monthly fee to have access to this box set,” said CEO Kelly Campbell, motioning to a box of DVD’s. “I’m happy to report to our shareholders that the annual ROI on these thirty-eight discs is projected to be 62,000,000,000%.”
Despite providing only access to this singular title, Kelly Campbell stressed the cheaper tier would not affect Peacock’s release schedule.
“We will continue to release new titles constantly, and they’ll show up on the JaBSoTO streaming service, but they won’t be playable. Not that anyone’s going to notice,” she said as she unloaded a pallet of cash labeled “Signups 11:00 AM – 11:30 AM.”
However, Peacock faces steep competition in the arena.
“My neighbors were always asking to borrow my DVD’s of ‘The Office,’” said former roofer Tom Barnum. “So I started renting them out. Then I wanted to watch it myself, so I ended up buying a second, and a third… I own and rent out ten million box sets of ‘The Office’ now.”
Many users suspect they’ve already been switched to JaBSoTO, but haven’t been in the right mood to try to find out.
