LOS ANGELES — In response to the enthusiasm surrounding the upcoming “Beetlejuice” sequel, Warner Bros. has greenlit Beetlejuice 3, thereby summoning Beetlejuice 4.
“We should’ve seen this coming,” said Barbara Rilms, the executive responsible for the decision. “Now we have to deal with Beetlejuice 4 being out before Beetlejuice 2. I guess we could do, like, a Star Wars prequels situation? Ugh.”
The conjured film, famous for its titular character who arrives whenever his name is said three times, seems not to fit within the broader strokes of the existing Beetlejuice universe, throwing a monkey wrench in the company’s plans.
“A lot of the movie is Beetlejuice skateboarding,” Rilms said. “He seems to go out of the way to stress how important it is that Astrid Deetz, played by Jenna Ortega, taught him how to skateboard at summer camp. He has a new catchphrase: ‘Now that’s a gnarly one!’ I don’t know. It just fucking sucks, and I’m going to get fired.”
The actors “involved” with the film are shocked and dismayed.
“I’ve been on set for ‘Beetlejuice Beetlejuice’ for a while now,” said Michael Keaton, who plays Beetlejuice in the first two movies and Skateboarding Beetlejuice in Beetlejuice 4. “But I don’t know how this other movie got made. I haven’t touched a skateboard in years. I actually have a minor phobia of skateboards. I can be in the same room as them, but I really don’t enjoy it.”
The film has grossed $8.2 billion dollars according to ticket receipts, but nobody seems to know where the money came from or went.
COMMENTS.
One response to “Warner Bros. Greenlights Beetlejuice 3, Summoning Beetlejuice 4”
Loved this movie! favorite part was when he did a christ air and caught fire and burned down the haunted rec center they were trying to save